Setelah sebuah perbincangan yang melegakan dan sekaligus membuat pegal kemarin malam, akhirnya saya mulai memikirkan blog ini.


Kasihan dia sebenarnya. Tetap ada tapi lebih sering terlupakan. Lebih sering lagi digunakan hanya untuk sekedar singgah dan berkeluh kesah. Bahkan tak jarang ia didatangi orang-orang asing yang tujuannya hanya ingin membuka-buka cerita masa lalu dan paling baru. Seringkali cerita menyakitkan.


Kalau bisa bicara dia akan memaki dan memanggil saya si kacang yang lupa pada kulitnya. Dan memanggil orang-orang asing itu si pengecut yang ingin tahu. 


Kasihan dia. 


Maka yang paling baik adalah membebaskannya. Ia kini tidak perlu menunggu-nunggu dan menggerutu lagi. Pada saya atau pada siapapun yang ingin tahu.


Terima kasih, blog. Sampai jumpa.

Sorry for the procrastination, I just don't feel enough urge to write recently. No, I am not a busy working person and no, I am not having maternity leave. I am just busy living.

There is one thing I thought I wouldn't care enough to try again. You know, when your attempt to climb a mountain ended up falling hard to the ground, you probably need some time to recover the wounds and to regain your health. That's what I did. I fell down and I took some time to heal the wounds. It is now fine.

I am now staring to that mountain once again. I know that I probably won't be successful this time either, but I do know now that there are so many things to gain rather than being on the top. I still can enjoy the journey, the cold wind, the great view, and even the pain along the way. Every little thing matters.

It's okay to fall down. It's okay to be hurt. Because once you fall you learn how to get up and fight anyone, anything, even yourself, and you're a winner. I am going to find a way to heal the wounds and stay alive, at any cost.

I will be good. 

I am good.

That's the picture of my bestfriend Kuncoro and I.

After this very long time with the writer's block, I realized that I cannot regain my writing passion without struggling for it.

And this is what I'm doing. Struggling.

Yesterday I got this nomination for The Favorite Student category. This is kinda funny because I was the one who spread the vote sheet and joke around telling everybody to write my name on it.

I thought they wouldn't do it. But they did.

So I came to the award with so many confusion. I had to wear a formal dress and wore make-up, which has never been my thingy. After an hour yelling at the hairdresser not to overdo my face and hair, I was ready to go.

Everybody told me I'm pretty, which has never happened before, and I couldn't say I was happy with that. It was make-up pretty, not a natural beauty. I was almost unrecognized by my own friends. Well yeah, I looked very different.

I didn't get the trophy, but I was excited because everyone were looking good. The best thing is that our student board, HMVA (Himpunan Mahasiswa Vokasi Akuntansi), was awarded as the best student board! :))

OneVocation was the first award event and I am honored to be there. I'd never wear what I wore if it wasn't for the event. Thank you.

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Akhir-akhir ini, menulis adalah sulit. Seolah aku tidak pernah membaca satu kata pun atau mengucapkan ungkapan apapun. Aku yang seperti ini menakutkanku. Aku yang seperti ini, biasanya bukan aku.

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...sehari 24 jam jadi tidak cukup lagi. Sebagian untuk tidur, sebagian untuk kuliah, sebagian untuk tugas-tugas dan sebagian lain sebisa mungkin disisihkan untuk keluarga. Satu kepala tidak cukup lagi untuk segala tugas dan pikiran. Dua kaki tidak cukup lagi untuk menghadapi ataupun melarikan diri. Untung saja dua tangan masih bisa berpegangan. Yang tidak berubah hanya perut. Tetap tidak cukup untuk sepiring makanan.

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Dulu sekali, kaubilang segalanya sudah runtuh menghapus jejakmu. Aku percaya dan tak bertanya-tanya. Sepuluh tahun berselang tiba-tiba bukan hanya jejakmu yang kaubiarkan terhapus. Dirimu juga. Dan sekejap segala yang telah runtuh terbangun kembali menarikan lakon anak tiri. Menangisi. Ayah tiri.

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